"Know ye not that they
which run in a race run all,
but one receiveth the prize?
So run, that ye may obtain."
(I Cor. 9:23)

When I was about seven or eight years old, I was asked a few times when I became a Christian. The initial response of my heart was to say, "I always was a Christian," though with my mind I did realize that this was impossible. The thing was, that as far as my memories were concerned, I WAS A CHRISTIAN.

I heard the complete Gospel, at the age of 5, from my cousin. At that time, I understood that though I am little, and my sins were "little," I still would go to Hell if I died - because it really doesn’t matter if you do little or big sins – one sin is enough to be condemned to death.

I also knew that a person may die at any time and so could I. I understood that once someone entered Hell, there’d be no turning back and it was frightening for me. That’s why I trusted in Jesus Christ and that He died for my sins, shedding His precious blood on the cross, was buried and bodily rose from the dead three days later. I trusted too, that after He ascended to Heaven, He prepared a mansion for me.

That’s what I believed and that’s what I told others. I then began praying on a regular basis and my prayers became an inseparable part of my daily life. I communicated everything to my Lord. I knew He was always around and always heard me. Not even one of my prayers went unanswered in one way or another (yet certainly not every time the way I wanted). So, as far in the past as I can remember, I always had very close relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

"He which hath begun a good
work in you will perform it
until the day of Jesus Christ"
(Phil. 1:6)

In December of 1999, my older cousin invited me to visit the church, of which he was a member. It was a small congregation. I intensely enjoyed this church and felt led to begin attending this church with my cousin.

The Lord worked greatly in my heart that winter. On the 8th of January, 2000, after a chapel in a local Bible College, I came home and wanted to re-read the verses that were mentioned from the pulpit. I read from The Gospels about the last days of Jesus’ life here on earth and about His death and resurrection and was amazed like never before!

I was SHOCKED by how open the Scripture was for me and how amazing certain verses were. I almost couldn’t bear it emotionally and so I totally switched my attention to a science magazine that I had been previously reading. There was a particular article about galaxies with very powerful pictures. The Holy Spirit used even this to stir intense thoughts. I just couldn’t hold back - I started to cry and pray and I told the Lord my great awe of Him, the fear of God, because of HOW AMAZING He is.

I told the Lord, that my only desire was to be with Him eternally and that I didn’t want any sin, known or unknown, to stand between God and me. I asked for His forgiveness for all of my sins and asked Him to never let me go.

I prayed, asking the Lord to show me His will for future ministry and direct me in all my paths. I prayed concerning my future husband that day too – God answered my prayers in the most unbelievable way!!!

The problem that I had was that I was taught that a Christian could "lose their salvation." I believed this too, because I was taught so and this always caused a conflict in my heart and mind. I repented of this belief one day, when a preacher showed me several passages from the Scriptures, proving that God’s Word teaches "the eternal security of the believer."

Because of that heretical belief that I had held to (that I could "lost my salvation"), I had the misconception that I needed to "re-repent" and get "re-saved." So, that is what happened that night on January 8th, 2000. Whether I truly got saved that day in January, 2000 or whether it was simply the Lord giving me re-assurance of His salvation – God knows the timing. The important thing that I may confidently declare is that I am certain I am saved. I know I will be with the Lord eternally. How do I know this? I know it, because I am trusting in the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. My faith is in Him alone and I have repented of my sins. I do not cling to a date or a prayer. I cling to the Lord Jesus Christ!

The Lord has also given me my husband, for whom I prayed. He’s given me a calling – ultimately through my husband’s calling. He’s given me a ministry – my husband’s ministry.

Well, that prayer on Jan. 8th wasn’t the end, but the very beginning. On March 19th, 2000, I came to the church and told everyone that I was saved. I also spoke to my pastor about how possible it would be for me to be baptized that summer. The pastor decided we should wait until next summer. I meekly waited until the next summer and was finally baptized on the 4th of August, 2001.

"I am made all things to all men,
that I might by all means save some."
(I Cor. 9:21)

The years that followed the Lord allowed me to have success in my studding and work. I worked as a journalist, writing for several newspapers. This gave me different opportunities to communicate with all kinds of people – non-conformist teenagers, Darwinist professors, prideful government workers, truly strange psychologists and New Age social workers. Every time I interviewed someone or just studied the subject on which I wrote, I understood more and more that EVERY SINGLE ONE is a sinner and without Christ they are on their way to Hell.

More and more the Lord stirred me up to evangelize. It was amazing, that while I was working on my newspaper material, God put love in my heart for the people I wrote about.

I used every opportunity to witness and lead people to Christ. The more Gospel filled my communication and materials were, the more evident my professional success was. I gave all credit to the Lord for all things in my life, because without Him, I was (and am) nothing.

However, it is amazing to me to look back and remember that during the times I was rejoicing, counting the things I had, there was a fear of losing it all. This fear, of losing what one has, replaces the fear of God and it is IDOLATRY.

God worked in my heart and mind during the summer and autumn of 2003. He used a particular verse from Ezekiel 28:17 to bring me back to where I belong. The Lord also used a particular verse from Philippians 4:13 to encourage me and show me how things are truly supposed to be.

So, I turned away from the direction I was going and the worldly pursuits I sought and turned again to follow God’s will in my life. The Lord provided my husband, a preacher, as a real part of walking in His will. I personally believe that the Lord allowed me to have such things like education, social and professional successes, so that I would have something valuable (in the eyes of men) to sacrifice for the sake of being in God’s will! I praise God for how Great He is!

"I therefore so run,
not as uncertainly; so fight I,
not as one that beateth the air..."
(I Cor. 9:25)

Right now, my husband and I have a lot of plans, ideas, projects, and ministry goals. Everything is progressing all the time and we always sense how the Lord leads and gives His counsel. The Lord always helps us to accomplish the things we do by Him and through Him, for His glory. He even gives us the strength, when we think we cannot do it!

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